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October 22 She: I just want cuddled tonight.
He: Cuddled or 'CUDDLED'?
She: Cuddled.
He: What if I do those things you like?
She: No. I just want a cuddle.
He: Even if I do that 'special' thing?
She: Yes.
He: So...nothing but a cuddle, right?
She: Just a cuddle.
He: Would you like a bit of coaxing?
She: No.
He: You don't seem too certain.
She: I am. Just a cuddle. Nothing else.
He: Really?
She: Yes.
He: OK
She: Stop it! Just a cuddle!
He: *sigh*
She: ...and put that away!
He: *grumble*
October 08 He: I got a promotion!
She: How does it affect me?
He: Huh?
She: Will I see more of you or less of you. Will you get more pay or just more responsibility. Will I have to change my routine or will things stay the same.
He: A simple 'congratulations' was all I was looking for.
September 05 She critic says: How devine! Strong imagery, with allegorical sub-text. The artist was obviously inspired by the subject matter. The lost look on the model...makes you want to try and understand the thoughts, dreams and motivations that seem to lie just beyond the spoken word.
He critic says: You're so right. Strong brushstrokes counterpoint the delicate nature of the portrait. Notice the use of shadow to produce mood. The obvious use of beauty in the model juxtaposed with the old servant to make a comment on the transitory nature of youth.
HOWEVER
She critic thinks: Look at this tart. She gets her kit of for the artisit and is forever preserved in oil. Look at the state of her body. I work out five times a week to keep in shape and she's the one that gets all the attention. And her hips! Can't think what is going on there. I'll never understand artists. Most of them are pissheads who have to die before they get any sort of recognition. God, I need a man!
He critic thinks: Cor! Nice knockers. Very pert. Nice soft body...none of that hard as stone, worked out look that is so intimidating to a bloke. I bet she's a goer. Shit, I think I'm getting a stiffy.
He said: I'm buying a takeaway. What do you fancy...Chinese, Indian or how about a kebab? She said: I dunno. You choose. He said: No. Lady's choice. Which is it. She said: mmmmm oh, whatever. He said: No. Choose. Chinese, Indian or kebab. She said: I can't be bothered deciding. You decide. He said. No. You're always complaining that I make all the decisions and that you don't have a say. So I'm proving you wrong by letting you decide. She said: I can't be bothered deciding. I don't know what I want anyway. So, you make a choice for both of us. He said: Are you sure? She said: Yes. He said: Definitely sure? She said: Yes. He said: OK, don't say I didn't ask you first.
LATER
He said: I got the Chinese. She said: Oh. I didn't want Chinese. I'm in the mood for pizza. He said: ........................@!"//$.&*~!!
July 23 She said He saidShe said: I'm not sure if we're going the right way
He said: Why are you looking at the map while it's upside down?
She said: That's the direction we're going
He said: FFS why can't you just keep a mental image of the route and flip it inside your head?
She said: For the same reason you can't watch the telly and listen to me at the same time
July 11 She said He said
She said: I saw a nice set of curtains for our livingroom
He said: Uhuh
She said: They're velour. Maybe velour's too heavy a material. What do you think?
He said: mmmmmmmmm
PAUSE
She said: I was thinking green but maybe a pastel colour would be better
He said: <grunt>
She said: You're not listening to me are you?
He said: mmmmhuh
She said: I've done it three times with the man next door
He said: Uhuh
She said: We're running away together and are going to set up a love nest
He said: Yep
VERY LONG PAUSE
He said: [realising something is amiss] Huh? What's that?
She said: I don't know why I bother even talking to you. What have I just said?
He said: Something about curtains?
She said: Why don't you listen to me?
He said: You shouldn't talk to me when I'm not listening. Bugger! Now I've missed what happened on the telly.
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