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12月5日 LESSON ON PERSPECTIVE
Just because you are Donald Trump, Tony Blair, the teacher I was always scared of, my boss or the big guy I need to humour in case he beats me up. It doesn't make you a somebody. In the scheme of things you are nothing. Donald who - a rich guy? A politician? A jumped up little Hitler? An old twat who liked to lord it over kids? Some bully with nothing in his life?
The real movers and shakers are the ones we talk about now with unconscious admiration. We know their names and maybe a little of what they were all about. Films are made about them. Books are written and arguments follow about their motivations and influences. Their names will live long after these so-called people of importance have passed on. Alexander the Great, Julius Caeser, Cleopatra, William Shakespeare, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, to name but a few. They made real history. People have talked about them for hundreds and thousands of years and will continue to talk about them a thousand years from now. All those rich and influencial people of our time are ephemeral. Dust in the wind.
History decides the giants. Not the guy who affects your next promotion.
OPINIONS
Having an opinion doesn't make you smart.
It doesn't necessarily make you an expert on something.
It doesn't make you right.
Even if cameras are pointing at you and people are writing down what you say.
Having an opinion and voicing it in loud and certain tones, still makes it an opinion particular to one person.
And it can still be wrong, biased and just plain ignorant.
Opinions are for people who don't really know what they are talking about.
WE'RE FAMILY BUT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT IT
1%. Not a lot is it? If I had a £1, it'd be one penny. You can't buy much for a penny these days. 1% is the DNA difference that separates us from the apes. Our closest relatives [in species terms].
Good for experimenting on. Good to train to do 'cute' tricks. Good for hunting because there's a market in Asia for their testicles. But not the kind of relative you'd have round at your house. Too embarrassing. The neighbours might talk.
FACTS AND FIGURES
The loss of one human life is tragic. The loss of millions is a statistic.
Josef Stalin
Sorry guys. It's been that kind of week.
11月28日 I'm not long back from the gym. Yes folks, I have been known to perform physical jerks [no sniggering at the back there]. I have been a regular exerciser since my teens and, while no longer the toned young thing that I once was, I still at least make a good effort when I go to 'work out'. More importantly, at least from the point of view of this blog, I know when someone else is serious about their own training.
So you can imagine my bemusement when I see a young man in his 20s wasting time, space and money by doing as good as nothing in the gym. His time was roughly apportioned as follows...
1. 30% watching others working out or chatting;
2. 30% picking detritus from his ears, from nose, from under his nails, scratching his arse and other indolent activities;
3. 30% looking at himself in the mirror;
4. 10% using the equipment - without effort and in an incorrect way.
I mean WTF!!
OK you may say, he's paid his membership and if he wants to pose that's his prerogative.
Not as far as I'm concerned. If something is worth doing it's worth doing well. Particularly if you've paid your hard-earned to access the service. His presence only serves to mock those of us that take their fitness with a measure of seriousness and application.
Or is it just me?
10月19日  I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOME PEOPLE.
I WAS WORKING WITH A COLLEAGUE RECENTLY AND WE GOT ONTO A CONVERSATION ABOUT MOBILE TELEPHONES. LIKE MOST PEOPLE, I HAVE ONE. NOTHING FANCY, I PUSH BUTTONS AND BY THE WONDERS OF TECHNOLOGY, SPEAK TO THE PERSON WHO ANSWERS. NO CAMERA. NO MP3 PLAYER. NO RAVING CHART TUNES, WALLPAPER, 3G, MOVIE CLIPS, YADA YADA. OH, AND IT'S A PAY AS YOU GO TOO. IF I BUY £20 OF CALL CREDIT, IT USUALLY LASTS ABOUT 3 MONTHS, SOMETIMES LONGER. I'M NOT ONE FOR GOSSIPING ON THE PHONE.
MY COLLEAGUE HOWEVER PAYS A CONTRACT ON HIS TIME- MACHINE-WITH-THE-BRAIN-THE-SIZE-OF-THE-PLANET THAT DOES EVERYTHING, INCLUDING CALL PEOPLE. HIS CONTRACT IS LIKE, 3000 HOURS OF FREE ANYANDEVERYNETWORKANDTHE SOLAR SYSTEMTOO PLUS 3 MILLION TEXT MESSAGES - I DON'T EXAGGERATE!
 AND HE PAYS ABOUT £50 A MONTH FOR IT. ONLY TROUBLE IS, IT'S NOT ENOUGH.ME, I'D REIN IT IN. CUT BACK AND GET OUT OF THE CONTRACT EXACTLY WHAT I PAY FOR. IF I OVERRAN, THEN I'D STOP PHONING. EASY. HIM, HE DECIDES TO UP HIS CONTRACT TO 'MEET HIS USAGE' AND NOW GET 30000 HOURS OF CALLTIME AND 10 MILLION TEXTS AND NOW PAYS £100 A MONTH.
THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT HE IS NOW EXCEEDING HIS NEW LIMIT AND IS PAYING OVER THE ODDS FOR THE EXTRA USEAGE. AND GUESS WHAT...HE'S THINKING OF UPPING HIS CONTRACT YET AGAIN!
WTF!!!
NO RESTRAINT. NO END TO HIS FUNDS BY THE LOOKS OF IT. AND NOT A STROKE OF WORK OUT OF HIM COS HE'S ALWAYS ON THE BLOODY PHONE. FFS MATE, GET A LIFE.
[I FEEL BETTER NOW, CHEERS]
[OOOH, ME SPLEEN HURTS]
10月18日 I don't want to seem as if I'm anti-German, because I'm not. But having just come back from my hols [did I tell you I was on holiday?
] I do have a bit of a bugbear that I'd like to air. And it involves, well, Germans. And the rest of Europe's hoteliers who give them preferential treatment.I know that at one time Germany had a mighty economy and that the Deutschmark , as it was then, had great buying power. Naturally everyone who wanted to be on the receiving end of that buying power would fete Herr Flik to reap a benefit.
But the German economy now is sluggish. Fritz is no longer the economic workhorse of Europe. The British pound has [to some extent at the moment] assumed that mantle. So our fine citizens are now given the treatment that Herr Holidaymaker has enjoyed these past 30 years or so, right? Of course not!
I travel abroad regularly and no matter where I go the Germans are still fawned over and given great care. Mr and Mrs Tommy Atkins? Go to the back of the line. Get it yourself. Take the room that no one else wants. Receive curtness, dismissiveness, second rate service and face a bemused response when the Atkins' of this world complain.
Or do they? I mean, it's not really the British way is it? Complaining. Some people do it but it's still not a common character trait for us. The Germans do it. They expect good service. Accordingly, they get it. I suppose it's something we should admire. Copy even. But we're still a long way off.
Yes, despite our current buying power, the poor old Brits will still get a second rate service compared to the Germans because we don't complain and they do.
I'll try and remember this next time the German standing behind me in the bar queue is approached first by the barman.
The above reminds me of an incident a few years back and is a shining example of what I am harping on about...
I was lazing on the beach enjoying the weather. Near to me was a Turkish hotel worker whose job was to drive the speed boat and pull guests on an inflatable.
A German strode up to him and asked to be taken for such a ride. The Turk politely demurred as he was on a break. The German would have none of this and demanded that he be given a ride. Despite several further polite protests and an attempt to elict the German's sympathy, the Turk saw he was on a hiding to nothing and complied.
My first response was to think - 'bloody Germans' and 'arrogant bastard'. In the same situation I would have accepted the Turk's excuse and walked away.
However, on mulling it over I realised that the German was quite right. He was on holiday. He had worked and saved to come to the resort. He was entitled to receive the benefit of his hard earned holiday. So who was this Turk to try and fob him off. Let him have his break later. Just now, service was demanded. And he got it.
Had to be admired in that respect. Me, I would still have walked away. I'm on holiday. I don't need the aggravation.
10月5日 Is there a translator in the house? Some foreign person has left me this message in my comments field and I can't make head nor tail of it. It's reminiscent of pidgin English only not as sophisticated. I think there's 'attitude' in it but for all I know it could be street talk for 'Hello, how are you?'
[or maybe not]yo u sed mi brederz is not a freek watya chattin bout u startin beef on my mate pojo12345 o my dayz u gettin loud hes bare freeky sexy saz
Answers on a postcard to my inbox. Failing that, just an explanation in the comments field please. You're ever so nice.
Thanks
 9月24日 nnnaaarrrgghhhh!!!! <pulls on hair> time for a settling of scores. Life is full of people, things, occurrences, whatever. They irritate the shite out of you. They deserve to die - slooooowly.
But we live in a civilised society. So we smile [through gritted teeth] and walk on by. We could at least give them a good piece of our minds, but then they'd have the satisfaction of knowing that they got under our skins. Fuckers. Is there no payback?
No. Well, not until the revolution comrade. Then, oh yes, then, they will be the first up against the wall. Down with mediocrity! Die all those who celebrate nonentity! Z-list wannabes queue here for the shower room.
I have a list. Oh yes! [Thanks Dr Druid]. The WTF hit list of those who who would not be missed. Of 'entertainment' that is a disgrace to the Trades Descriptions Act. And anything else that irritates the sh... well you get the idea.
A few head the list now. But more will follow. Who or what do you want to expel to the labour camps in the Gulags? 9月22日 I think the fickled finger of fate has just had a jab into my ribs. A few blogs back I was making comment on the global scale of internet fraud and on the importance of being vigilant with personal information. And guess what, I appear to have been ripped off!
I was expecting to have a week's winter break from work in October. In Tenerife...warm, pleasant and far removed from the daily strains of gainful employment. Now it turns out that the holiday company that it was all booked through has gone bust - with the stench of 'scam' being left in its wake.
While my circumstances are not related to the keylogging or security information leaks to clever crooks that was the subject of my blog, I can't help but feel the sweet irony of my plight.
On the plus side, it was all booked through my credit card. For the uninitiated please let me explain:
In terms of Section 75 of the Consumer Credit Act 1974, the credit card company shares liability for all purchases of £100 or more. Therefore, eventually, my outlay for the holiday will be re-couped via the credit card company's insurance.
In the meantime, do I look for a replacement holiday in anticipation of a refund? Do I book and damn the extra cost? Or do I spend my break watching repeats of Johnathon Ross on UK Gold? 8月28日 I've just watched '50 Greatest Comedy Sketches' on telly. [Ignoring the recent need to fill television schedules with '50 best this' and '20 worst that', oh, and something really original, like, '100 embarrassing doodas day' which are all just very poor excuses to repeat stuff and thus save money]. I have come to a resounding decision on what passes for great comic moments. Most of them are crap.
I mean, Little Britain's Lou and Andy are No. 1? Have I died and been resurrected as a Russian? They are not funny. The show is not funny. The sketch about them in the swimming pool is...not funny.
I have heard people regale each other with some of their work. They may laugh and go over the minutae of who said what and how. They may remark on the characters. But I've watched the same material and [yes, you've guessed it] it's not funny. I suspect people think the show is fashionable and so must live up to it in front of others in order to be 'hip' or 'relevant' to their peers. But get a humerus implant chaps, wake up and smell the one-liners. There aren't any!
As for the other sketches...most of them are [god, I'm repeating myself!] not funny. The only sketches worthy of inclusion in the programme were Monty Python, The Two Ronnies, Morcombe and Wise. Yes, that's right, material that's averaging 25-30 years old.
There have been many great comdey shows in recent years. But remember, the programme was about sketches. I won't bore you with the ones of recent times I think are good. However, while I'm wiping the frothing saliva from my mouth I would like to add the following shows to my personal 'WTF is funny about that' list [and in no particular order].
1. League of Gentlemen
2. Fast Show
3. French and Saunders
4. Smack the Pony
5. Anything with Lenny Henry in it
There are loads more, but in the manner of some psychologically tortured television viewer, I've managed to repress the thought of them. Maybe you have a sketch show you think is crap and I haven't listed. I'd be interested to hear what it is.
8月21日 WTF. I don't watch the telly that much but when I do, I expect to be able to see something entertaining, educational or at least distracting. I have a Sky World Package deal...all the movies, most of the sport, and a whole heap of entertainment channels. A choice of 100+ channels. So you'd think, especially on a Saturday night, that I'd be spoilt for choice. Not a bit of it! I'm not overly demanding on the quality of what I watch but there's does have to be something of merit in a programme for it to grab my attention. However, all I seem to have done by going from terrestial TV to satellite is to give myself a bigger load of dross not to watch.
 8月11日 Oh Dear!Some sad and cowardly person has placed multiple entries under the names SpamMan and ObeseBastard with a view to either offending me or causing distress. Sorry mate. People who show disrespect in this way and then don't have the balls to leave their link for an appropriate reply are really deserving of pity. You're just a little dick who has nothing of value in his life and so feeds off other peoples attempts at amusement. GET A LIFE!
THE LINK IN QUESTION: http://spaces.msn.com/members/derekwanlesswtf/Blog/cns!1poi-e03muIlc3vd1qfWbp6g!479.entry
7月30日 Beggars BeliefThis may seem cruel or insensitive, but WTF are we doing with beggars in the 21st century? Glasgow is no different from any other major city in the UK: there is a benefit system in existence to stop people falling into the trap of poverty and all the social ills that may arise from it. However, I can hardly walk down a street these days and not come across some, I'm sorry...cunt...sitting in some pathetic manner on the pavement and begging for money.
Call me cynical, but these people are either claiming benefit and making some some 'extra' on the side or they've dropped out of the 'radar' for their own reasons and are trying to achieve some income at the expense of the people who actually contribute to the greater society - for those of you who actually work...that's you and me.
OK. They may have had some dire personal experience that has compelled them to fall from society's grace, or they may have decided for some other reason to remain out of the 'loop' to avoid something they would not rather face. But in any event, they have made a choice about where they want to be. The system is still there. They can still use it whether they have paid into it or not. But they don't.
So whose fault is it when they beg for money...theirs.
There is no excuse. I don't in the least feel guilty when I ignore then and walk past. Only my good manners and restraint stop me from screaming in their faces, 'GET A JOB'.
If we lived in some poor country in Africa where such support did not exist then I would do what I could to alleviate their suffering. But in this country, they can all just fuck off. Mooching bastards all of them. 7月21日 SPACE INVADERSI now make it a habit to visit the ten spaces that show up on my 'most recently up dated spaces' window. Irrespective of the space name or nationality [such as those with foreign writing] I make the visit much as a tourist does...curious about others, willing to take on board new ideas, and leave a little bit more aware of what is happening 'out there'.
If the space is attractive or thought-provoking or noteworthy in some way then I leave a message in the guest book making a point of commending the hosts for their efforts. If there is a blog with a particular viewpoint and I think I have something to offer by way of an opinion [supportive or counter] then I leave a comment. I am not rude. I do not use foul language. I do not belittle the host because his opinion is different from mine. I would not do it if I was invited into someone's home in the physical world, so I do not intend to do it in cyber space. Good manners are important.
I sometimes get feedback. A bit of a mixed bag really depending on what I have left on their space. They can be complimentary or positive or they can be rude and poisonous. The comments are to be found in my Visitors' Book or at an appropriate blog entry...feel free to seek then out.
The point I'm trying to make, I guess, is that I am not being confrontational when I leave a comment. Most spaces seem to welcome some sort of feedback [me included] but when they get it and do not like it the the hosts become incensed and petty with their own comments. Lighten up guys. 7月11日 Sound of MusicJulie Andrews was well pleased when she realised that the hills were alive to the sound of music. How I envy her!
I've been trying for what seems ages to have music fed to this Space. I've followed all the advice I've come across on the matter and still I can't play any of my fav tunes. It's damned frustrating. WTF 6月30日 Flying high, feeling lowI have found pergutory. A nine hour flight to the Carribbean is not an experience that I particulary relish. But there is always the prospect of a holiday in the sun to temper the nine hour haul. That is, of course, assuming the journey is in reasonable comfort. Imagine my dismay at being herded to a seat fit for the Inquisition and all its tools of torture. Squeezed into a device that denies its origins. No room to stretch your legs. No room to eat - unless you want to elbow your fellow passenger in the face. No room to enjoy a nap. Then the supreme irony...they play a video showing seat exercises designed to combat Deep Vein Thrombosis! WTF
6月7日 Reality CheckOK. People have ideas about themselves and how they appear to others. Everyone tries to live up to an image they have about who they What would you say of someone who spends their evenings by the window, 'curtain twitching', at the merest hint of activity. Someone making mental notes on people's comings and goings: from a scratch of the crotch to that intimate moment between forces of attraction. Or, you're on a beach with a friend. You're relaxing in the sun and enjoying the warmth. You chat to your friend about the day's events, the people you've met at the hotel and your opinion of them. Unaware that your fellow sunworshipper on the next sunbed is listening to the conversation. Or forget that, how about you're at a karaioke night at the local boozer and your vote makes the difference between the singer winning the Star Prize and...well, not? Most people would consider that person to be rude and intrusive. Certainly in the first two pictures, and subjective in the third. Now consider the same scenarios but this time it's Channel 4's 'Big Brother' or 'Celebrity Love Island' or 'I'm a wannabe Popstar in Fame Academy get me out of here!' or whatever dross the commissioning heads of TV think will catch the viewing public's attention. Now the person [the viewer] is not that rude and intrusive person. He or she is a voyeur into the Machiaevelian machinations of competing personalities. They are observers on the human condition. The condition where the subject of observation attempts to be more endearing, or more interesting or to have the best talent compared to the nonentities they are up against. Am I missing something? WTF is the big deal with reality shows? For a start, they are as 'real' as someone posing for a picture on holiday. They are as 'real' as someone posturing for a camcorder recording at a party. No one behaves 'normally' when a lens is put in front of them. are and what they're about. But those rules don't apply on TV. It's about manipulating public opinion, to win people over, to win. Or, if you take part and recognise it for the bollocks it is [or more likely, I'm not going to win this so...] it'a about being 'bolshy' and 'awkward' and making pleas to be removed from the show because 'I didn't really know what it was about and don't want to play anymore'. BS. These shows, and the clones that they spawn, cater to the lowest common denominator. And better still...they're cheap entertainment. All sugar, no fibre. The sooner the viewing public wakens up to this the sooner we can get back to... I forget, what was ever worth watching on the telly? 5月24日 OK I amThe internet is great. A whole world is able to communicate with itself. Political differences, geographical boundaries, cultural tensions are all overcome by the medium of the true lingua franca: English. People post: people read: people gain understanding: people are informed and the world is a little better. Censorship is the death of liberty. That said. I have visited a few sites in my brief forray into cyberspace [in a blog capacity] and I am at a loss as to WTF people are on about! OK. Many of them are of a youngish age. Many of them have limited time in which to express themselves. Many of them live in an age where text [txt] language is more convenient than the words of The Bard. But I can't help but weep when I see such a beautiful language fucked over by a load of ..... oh what's the use! I am Mr Nice Guy. I am not Mr AngryQuite the reverse. I am Mr Nice Guy And this is it! 5月16日 Road HogAre you familiar with the Highway Code? You know, the rules of the road that dictate what is considered to be safe and considerate [not to mention lawful] driving. I do. And as far as I am able, I try to abide with them and even, given the opportunity, attempt to set an example. So WTF is it with people who sit mindlessly driving in the middle lane of a three lane motorway when the whole stretch of road before them is free of traffic? The Highway Code says that at the earliest opportunity a driver should move to the nearside. It makes sense to me: if you have the whole road why sit in what is essentially an overtaking lane when you can just as easily sit in the nearside lane and still drive comfortably. Is there something special about the middle lane? Does it hold some sort of mystic power that has not to be yielded at any cost? Or perhaps, more likely, the driver has poor lane discipline and feels sitting in the middle lane provides him with the possiblity of shifting from one side of the carriageway to the other with the minimum effort. So imagine me, approaching a twit like this. I see he has the whole road in front of him with no need to sit where he is. I am - of course - on the nearside lane and my speed is greater than his because up to this point I too have had the motorway all to myself. It is obvious he has no intention of moving [I doubt he even used his mirrors to notice that I was there]. So I could just stay where I am and undertake him - pass on his nearside - and be on my way. But being aware that this is inappropriate driving for this circumstance, I overtake him and cross two lanes [middle and farside] to legitimately perform the manoeuvre. Taking an opportunity to set an example, I use my indicators and move back to the nearside lane which is still clear of vehicles and thence continue my journey. I have overcome an irritating but minor obstacle and set an example of good driving practice. So, I check my rear view mirror to see if the offending vehicle will follow my lead and does he? Does he fuck! Blinkered, obstinate, dumb driver! WTF
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My problem is I don't know how to verbalise my inner anguish/ire/frustration in a way that successfully conveys how I feel without, at the same time, annoying/confusing/dispairing the person receiving the 'broadside'. In other words: I want to 'blow off' but I don't want to upset anyone doing it! So what's a nice guy to do? He can implode and go psycho, finding the nearest person to split with a hatchet...or he can create a blog that will air his 'torment' and thus salve the mental rash that constantly irritates his sanity.|
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